Queen Bees and Wannabes - Asian style

Queen Bees and Wannabes was a book I picked up a couple of months ago in California. I read it because I came across a review of that book, which said it was an accurate depiction of our trials and tribulations as females, the dynamics amongst our peers and how we relate to the outside world. I found it described my teen world exactly and my world in the school playground now as well.

D is off to holiday camp this week. We are in Singapore for 5 weeks, which is a pretty long time for a boy to be without structure. So I happily booked him in thinking that it would be a chance for him to get some R&R away from me, have some structure and for me to have some downtime.

What I didn't count on was the Queen Bees and Wannabes following me all the way to Singapore as well.

I see them first thing in the morning, a beauty parade of coiffed and freshly spruced women, all standing there in a row. From head to tow, they scream expensive - from their perfectly styled hair, down to their capri pants and heels. They are neatly turned out, with full on makeup and perfectly manicured nails. They stand literally in a row like a beauty parade as if to show off their expensive jewelry, expensive handbags and perfect makeup and clothing, in the melting heat at 7.30 am in the morning.

It screams expensive and brash to me, poor taste hitting me in the face this early in the morning. But ironically, I am the one being looked at. From the moment I step out of the car, they judge me. I can see their eyes following me - from my clothes to my car. What kind of car do I drive? What kind of bag am I carrying? What clothes am I wearing and how does my hair look? Then they look at D, to judge and see if he is good looking and whether he is pure Chinese or mixed race in order to determine whether my husband is a Chinese or a foreigner. They will judge me for who I marry, and make up tales about what it says about me.

I put on my sunglasses and laugh. It is hysterical that at a summer camp women are also competing. If I can be bothered, I would tell them that their kids are fat and need to lose weight, that they should pay more attention to their children because they cuss and swear like a truck driver and are mean spirited and bullies. And that all the money and expensive things in the world won't make them nice people, or valued members of the human race.

But I keep quiet and pretend that I don't notice their glances. I hurry D along and tell him to ignore them and their children who yell bad things at him, and to kick and stamp back when they kick and stamp on his feet. Bullies seldom like it when you push back and true enough, they back off and stop bothering him.

It makes me laugh that the school playground stayed with us in our 20s and 30s and still stretches into our 40s, 50s and 60s. It makes me laugh that even when we are discriminated against so badly we women can still be mean to each other instead of standing in solidarity and looking out for one another It makes me laugh that it is over such insipid things like looks and material wealth. Maybe one day we will look back and regret our actions. But then, maybe that day will never come.

Queen Bees and wannabes will never go away. Even at 7.30 in the morning in the melting heat of a small island state. But maybe especially in the melting heat of a small island state.