An unrequited love affair (It's not what you think)

Who shall I fly with next?

As a wise person once said, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. For summer this year, I flew back to Singapore to see family. We had just moved to California and I had never flown from the West Coast to South East Asia direct before. I prayed for a good flight. It could, as we all know, go all so badly wrong.

But the flight going out was uneventful (which is all we could want) and I was beginning to think this route wasn't too bad. I even began looking forward to the return flight simply because 1) I hate flying but 2) the flight out was actually enjoyable. It could be fun for once (I have been flying consistently for 20 odd years; it has never been fun). However, during the return flight, Singapore Airlines (SIA), whom we flew with, lost our luggage. When I finally got my luggage returned to me 4 days later, I discovered that a couple of items had been stolen from my luggage - a handbag and a fidgit spinner (of all things!).

Things go missing all the time. What's so special about this time?

This way to long haul flights

When I brought it up with SIA about the missing items in my luggage, I was really surprised and more than a little disappointed with their reaction - which was basically "not my problem". Well, first they took 4 weeks to investigate only to come back to say they had the bags in their sights the whole time (yeah right) and no, it couldn't have been stolen on their watch. (Question: when did they not have my bags? I was under the impression that before the bags were returned to me, it was under their duty of care!)

Well, I am disappointed, to say the least. I understand that mistakes get made and luggages go missing. I even understand that items get stolen. But to be shrugged off just like that made me feel undervalued by an airline which I had been loyal to all these years. Why was I so unnerved? Airlines have a bad rep for this sort of thing. Was there more to it than just lost items?

I don't know about you, but if you travel as much as I do, especially constantly flying home to see family, the airline is your partner. And in a partner, you want understanding, leeway, a bit of give and take (ok, a lot!), sympathy and empathy. It's a personal journey in more ways than one, each and every time. I have been flying consistently for about 20 odd years now, since I went to school in the UK, where I stayed for university, stayed for work and finally stayed for marriage. Previous to that, my parents had always chosen SIA, because they believed in them, found them safe and reliable. I have been a loyal partner and customer through and through. I stayed true when they were just starting up, I stayed true when the chips were down. I even stayed true when I felt they were lacking.

What's different now?

Will I fly away? Will they care?

So much has happened in the last year. We moved to California, to a place literally halfway around the world from my family in Singapore. When they would visit us often in London, California is just that bit too far and that bit too unfamiliar. My return journey to Singapore seemed all that more important or else I was going to lose touch with them.

This year's journey back to Singapore was joyful and painful - a close cousin's 1 year death anniversary, my best friend's son about to start school, a grandmother so old she can hardly recognise me as she sinks into dementia, hanging out with cousins who are like sisters, spending time with my nieces and talking to my brother again, hanging out with a special aunt who is 85 (!), and of course spending days on end at the market and doctors' appointments with parents. I get once a year to experience all these, a kind of fast forward if you will. I feel the passage of time acutely as it takes its toll on family and friends, simply because I am not there on a daily basis to experience each milestone. How many more of these do I have? To top it all off, the item that was taken was a gift from my parents. I loved the bag they gave me - not because it was a bag but because of what it represented, the memory that came with it. It wasn't about the value. It was about the kind words they could have said instead of "we advise our customers not to pack anything valuable in checked in luggage". It was about a gesture of kindness they could have extended. I believed in them so much, I never thought they would lose my luggage, nor did I believe that I would have anything stolen from it while on their watch. And even after all of that, I still believed in them so much that I thought that in my moment of need, they would be sympathetic and kind. And those cost nothing.

Silly me.

So when I needed them most, SIA could not deliver. There wasn't a helping hand or a kind word to acknowledge my pain and frustration. Even BA and Virgin did better in that respect (and if you know me, I am not a fan of BA: think no help with wedding dress!) The lack of sympathy was stark. SIA was professional, they conveyed their apologies, but there was no feeling, no love, no acknowledgement of my loyalty for them. I was but a number in their huge count of customers. I was essentially a nobody.

So there you have it. My unrequited love affair. 30 years to be exact. I felt used and betrayed. I have to once again search for a new partner in this journey of mine. There was a time when I would wax lyrical about them, sing their praises from the highest mountain ("They were different, not like the other airlines" I would say) but now I can no longer, hand on heart, recommend them to anyone. Is it because they lost my bags? No. Things happen. I get it. Rather, it's because they don't seem to care. They don't love me like how I loved them.

Am I too old to start again? Do I have too much vested in this relationship? Were my expectations too high? All these thoughts race through my mind. And the final thought? Silly me. It is, after all, a corporation. A money making one. I am only a customer, a nobody. I thought they were different, but actually, they are all the same. Even my beloved airline. I should expect no less.

Maybe it is time to move on, harden my heart, expect that difficult things will come. Family will get older, people move on. The journey will be uphill no matter who I fly with or where I live. I have to learn to expect that. And relationships do fall apart.

Lots of love
from sunny California xoxo

PS: Just in case you are wondering if a corporation should care, I highly recommend a book called "What would Google do?" by Jeff Jarvis (on sale at Books Inc now). It is exactly on point and the answer is YES, corporations should care, for their customers and bottom line. If they think these are mutually exclusive, well, Dell will say otherwise. Ironically, the crew on board was the best I have ever experienced. The head steward and his team were brilliant, making us feel as comfortable as we could. Kudos to them for taking the initiative and being really, really responsible and great!