Wednesday 20 September 2017

Nobody is cuter than you


So time runs away when you are having fun ... or solo parenting.

2 weeks solo parenting can drive anybody nuts. The constant questions, the mundane run-of-the-mill routine made worse by the child forgetting on a daily basis the routine, my love crumbling into a puddle of resentment and passive-aggressive frustration. But I digress.

So, I would be glad to say that my life was punctuated by one of those life-changing events during the time I was solo parenting. (I had another blog planned but this was too good to pass up - stay tuned for the planned one in the next post). A good friend I hadn't seen since I was 16 contacted me about 3 years ago. I was in London at that time and she, as I found out, was in Chicago. The last time I saw her, it was a tearful, frantic farewell after which she left for Australia. What was she doing in Chicago? We had known each other since we were 6 but had 1 year as friends when we were 16. 1 year was enough and then she was gone. We wrote, but without the ease of emails and facebook, we lost touch. We found each other on What's App and we texted sporadically during gymnastics classes and judo lessons. She had always talked about coming to London to visit but we have children and a visit was always slim to none.

Fast forward to October 2016 . We moved to California as you know. And suddenly, meeting up was a possibility. As I unpacked and tried to get my life back on track as my husband's and my son's lives grew stronger and stronger, suddenly I get a text asking if she could come stay for a few days. Just her, no husband, no children. Karma, fate, God's will, whatever you want to call it, the perfect timing was when I was going to be solo parenting (love that phrase! She introduced me to it!)

I have to admit that even though we had been texting, and got on really, really well, I was nervous. I had not seen her in 28 years. Texting the last 3 years was a boon and I thought that was all we would have. I was reduced to be 16 again when we didn't have the money or the means to come see each other. But of course, we weren't 16 anymore. But seeing each other was a whole different story. It was a bit like online dating. Would we get along (again) in person after all that digital to-ing and fro-ing?

I'll never forget the time I saw her at the airport.

If I didn't believe in God then, I do now. Coincidences? Nah. Karma, Fate, God's Will, Yes. There are some people in this world that you are meant to be friends with. Family even. She was one of them.

We had 4 days of laughter, great conversations, and heartwarming tears. We slept too little, laughed a lot and certainly ate too much. Waaaay too much. We confided secrets that we hadn't talked about for years. We shared hopes, dreams, fears, and frustrations. We bonded over Liam and Chris, over Asian food and produce at the Chinese supermarket. Where else better to bond over? It was like we were 16 again. In California. From Singapore to California. Via Australia. Via London.

There are few people in my life like this. I love going back to Singapore to see my few friends from school whom I have kept in touch with. The four of us eat our way through Singapore and we love it. Now, I have one in the US. I know that no matter where I am in the world, I have that bond, that friendship that is unbreakable.

Call me soppy, call me sentimental. But girlfriends we definitely need. We might have our husbands, God, great colleagues, but girlfriends? Girlfriends are for saying all those things we can't say out loud to the husbands, colleagues, neighbours. (To be fair, what we want to say ain't for their ears! Only for girlfriends!)

I am truly blessed. From Singapore to London to California and who do I meet up with? A long lost girlfriend from 28 years ago. Who would have guessed it? Not I. Certainly not I.




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